Breaking a spell

What will it take?

Psylocibin and a shaman?

Some rest? A little meditation?

Maybe a swim in the local pool everyday?

How about a militant routine of things to do?

Therapy and breath exercises?

Meeting new people?

Distraction could be an option. A new hobby or instrument. A foreign language could do the trick. Right?

But what if the spell is coiled around your brain and through the vagus nerve wrapped around your gut and has managed to reach into your blood cells and become a part of you. What then? How do you run away from it? How do you run away from yourself?

What will it take?

A few nights sleep in your childhood bedroom

A cup of tea as soon as you wake up made by someone who loves you.

A familiar quarrel with a parent

An evening outside with a friend who isn’t afraid to cry in front of you. Who you aren’t afraid to cry in front of.

Speaking out your darkest fear and staring at it stare you back in the face.

A comfortable silence around the dinner table.

Falling asleep during the day while reading a book.

Heat. The sort that will thaw your bones and your flesh and make them intimate again.

Your mother calling out your name.

Your father arguing about dropping you to a place that’s walking distance

Your brother walking in to your room, saying nothing but also not leaving.

Some times it’s coming back home.

And finding a self that you thought you’d left behind. But all you needed was a reminder that it was just hidden behind some distance and time, waiting to jump out and surprise you.